Praise Jeebus!!! Freed from FrankenLobster!
Well, all I have to say is THANK JEEBUS that the individual comment count for my Lobster Sandwich Dare didn’t hit the magic number of 5; I had to explain to one person that you can comment all you want, only the first one will count towards me being legally forced to swallow a lobster sandwich.
The mere thought of having to get that thing, surely swimming in some kind of half-gone-bad tartar/mayo combination still sets my stomach to swirling, and I don’t even have to do it any more. The notion of chewing said saucy sangwich inside my mouth fills me with a loathing that is surely akin to having fire beetles put beneath my skin. The possibility of that mashed up mince of meats hitting my digestive tract, well, let’s just say that the image of freshly-tapped oil reserves and pipes bursting fill my mind, and that is a none too appetizing image.
So, on the one hand, thanks to all of you who didn’t comment, thereby making me eat both my own words and some kind of devil sandwich on white bread.
On the other hand, what the fuck is wrong with you people? Seriously? I mean, COME ON! Who in their right mind wouldn’t wanna make someone do something they don’t wanna do, all through the basic task of literally hitting a few keys; I would have accepted a few random letters, symbols or numbers in the comment box as proof enough. I find it hard to imagine that you all like me so much that you couldn’t possibly bear the thought of me getting intestinally ravaged by a fake franken-lobster submarine sandwich.
Oh well. Your loss is both my loss and my gain. Which is paradoxical, but that’s the kinda mood I’m in today.
Can’t say I did try. Next time you won’t be so lucky.
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